DATING MYTHS TO IGNORE
(Tressugar.com) There are all kinds of cliche dating "rules" that get tossed around in conversation, but are they really worth following? Thanks to books, TV shows, and movies like He's Just Not That Into You, it's easy to get caught up in the supposed dos and don'ts of communication, emotions, and timing. But before you convince yourself that there's a template for every relationship, take a look at these common dating myths, debunked:
1. Wait to respond.
There's something to be said for playing hard to get every once in a while, but that doesn't mean you need to let hours pass before you text him back. Instead, communicate with the people you date in the same way you'd communicate with friends to avoid any unnecessary games.
2. Never mention your ex.
While exes don't need to come up in every conversation, it's OK to talk about past relationships as a way to get to know each other's dating history. Steer clear of awkward or uncomfortable specifics, but feel free to be honest about who you are, who you've been with, and what you've learned from past loves.
3. Don't be emotional.
Putting up a few walls can be necessary sometimes, but it's not healthy to regularly hide your feelings in a relationship. Aim for open, honest conversation, and know that it's OK to experience negative emotions, too.
4. Always offer to split the bill.
Every situation is different, so know when to pitch in and when to let yourself be treated. If your date insists on paying, then it's polite to offer to help, but you don't always need to reach for your wallet.
5. Make it about him.
It's true that people like to talk about themselves, but try not to be so selfless that your own needs or interests are ignored. To build a relationship that's based on equal footing, strive for balance and compromise when it comes to conversation, dates, and responsibilities.
6. Downplay your interest.
If you're worried about caring "too much," don't be. There's nothing wrong with falling for someone, and when it feels right, chances are caring "too much" will feel like just enough.
7. Never be needy.
No need to play damsel in distress, but know that it's fine to need another person every once in a while. While it's great to be independent, there's also value in letting someone help you when it's necessary.
8. Take it slow.
Every relationship moves at its own pace, so don't feel like you have to force a specific timeline. When it comes to love, follow your instincts, and stay true to what feels right to you.
THINGS WOMEN WANT MOST IN A MAN
So, exactly what keeps women happy in relationships? Believe it or not, it tends to be the little things that make women the most satisfied in relationships. Dr. M. Gary Neuman, family counselor and author of "Connect to Love," who, based on his research, gives some insights on what women want.
1. Time
Of all the things we talk about women wanting, time with their spouse is it. The vast majority of women in happy relationships get 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with their husbands each day. Twenty-four percent of women who claim to be in unhappy relationships spend fewer than five minutes a day with their spouses. Ask yourself, "How much time do I spend with my spouse?" Uninterrupted time means time spent without iPhones and Blackberrys, a conversation with nothing else on.
2. Appreciation
Nowadays, women take care of the children and make salaries, and they tend to be very underappreciated. Women should be expressive of what makes them feel appreciated, saying "these are the kinds of things I like ... x, y and z." Men should listen, and women should tune in when their husbands are appreciative.
3. Understanding
It's important for women to have men who understand them. It's also important for women to help men understand how to listen. Men often don't have a clue they're being bad listeners. Women have to sense a time limit to conversation. More often than not, men are sitting there thinking, "When is this going to end?" I would say 15 to 20 minutes, max. Women should say to their husbands, "It's 8:00 p.m.; I need you to listen until 8:20 p.m." Women may deserve 10 hours, but most men are not the best at listening to serious, emotional conversations that go on.
4. Fun
This is one of those things that often goes out the window, especially after the first child is born. All the factors like jobs, rents, mortgages can add to relationship strain. Couples should set up a date night-once every week, even if they are tired, during which they spend a minimum of two hours alone. During this time, the couple should talk about everything BUT work, money and children.
5. Kind Gestures
Hugs, kisses, unexpected telephone calls to say 'I love you.' Simple things. I suggest five touch points a day for one week-any kind gesture that takes 30 seconds or less. If a man can do this for his partner for one week, both will be amazed at how much better they feel in the relationship.
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