The “No Tears Left to Cry” singer, 25, was honored at Thursday night’s Billboard’s Women in Music event, where she was presented with the prestigious Woman of the Year award.
During her acceptance speech, Grande struggled to hold back tears as she touched upon her very tumultuous year, which included the death of her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller and her whirlwind failed romance with Pete Davidson.
“I want to say that I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years of my career and the worst of my life,” she said. “I’m not saying that for sympathy, I’m just saying that because I think a lot of people would look at someone in my position right now…and think, ‘She’s really got her s— together,’ Ya know? Like, ‘She’s really on it.’ Like, ‘She’s got it all.’ “
Grande continued: “I do, but as far as my personal life goes, I really have no idea what the f— I’m doing so yeah, it’s been a very conflicting one.”
Finishing her speech, Grande opened up about her plans for 2019 and revealed what she’s has learned throughout her difficult year — including a new approach to love and relationships.
“I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I’ve given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself hopefully this year,” she said. “I have everything I’ve ever dreamt of having and as of late I’ve discovered that it’s the things I’ve always had and the people I’ve always had that still make me the happiest.”